The Power of Subtraction

Years ago a sales mentor told me to hook up a recorder to my phone to capture conversations I was having with prospects. I took his advice and my learning took off like a rocket. I was amazed at what I learned in a relatively short time by paying very close attention to the "replay" of my performances.

Sometimes I was shocked at how dumb I was - subtle clues that practically jumped off the recording on playback, I had totally missed during the original call. But some of the greatest learnings were when I captured something brilliant coming.... out of MY mouth. I swear, I didn't know at the time where it came from. But there is was - a gem, a moment of WOW that just seemed to appear from the context of the conversation.

Well, it happened today during a webinar.

We were talking about the incredible Rule of 250, the one that states most everyone knows some 250 or more people. The implications of this rule for networking are immense. It means that every time you add a person to your personal network, you are actually adding a virtual 250 people because you are now connected to that person's network. This principle is what systems like LinkedIn, BNI, etc. are really founded on. You meet a new person, you get to know each other, develop some trust and hopefully become a conduit to tons of business for each other.

It makes sense.

But here is the big AHA.

What happens to that virtual 250 and its potential when one person leaves?

What it means is that every single relationship lost represents 250 people you can't talk to anymore. 250 people who probably won't know you, grow to like you or learn to trust you. 250 people who wont tell their 250 people about you or recommend you to them. 250 possible connections that may never occur because you have lost that critical connecting link.


When you lose 10 people it means 2,500 connections are lost.

Two Thousand Five Hundred!!

This is the opposite of attraction - it's SUBTRACTION.

Now I know that no one reading this is intentionally putting the Power of Subtraction into action in their life but it is nonetheless happening all the time. And the reason is typically nothing more complicated that neglect, overwhelm or distraction.

This is why I preach - over and over and over - that you must have systems to keep those people connected to you. Systems that give you leverage. Systems that will work on autopilot. Systems that save you energy and time and money.

Yes, they take some time and effort to design and implement. Maybe they require an investment of money. But it you DON'T make the investment to keep in touch with the people in your network, it is pretty much guaranteed that you are slowing your growth at best. At worst you are letting it slowly die and wither away along with all the opportunities it represents.

Coach's Notes: 5 1/2 Networking Principles

In a recent networking workshop these were the primary issues presented by the group:

1. I know my business really well but I am uncomfortable sharing it when I'm outside the office.
2. How do I move on, i.e., how do I bring closure to one conversation and get on to the a next person?
3. How do I network when I am looking for a job?
4. Most people don't need my services; they are not immediate prospects.
5. Most people who need my services don't know they need them.

Ok, so how to deal with each of these situations? I'll do so here by outlining some networking principles then weave the solutions around them. The principles are based on 5 C's:

1. Context
2. Content
3. Conscious Concentration
4. Caring
5. Curiosity and Confusion

1. CONTEXT

This includes discussing what you do in a way that matters from within the circumstances and perspectives of your conversation partner. I see a lot of work done around developing 30 second commercials or elevator speeches that try to tell everything about a person's business. The problem is that you just can't do that. Frankly, you don't WANT to do that. What you need to do is to show people that you understand them and that you can help them, which is all most people really care about.

Showing this begins with understanding the context within which the other person lives, thinks, and feels. It is as simple as saying, "Let me ask you a question - what kind of work do you do?"

When they tell you your next question is, "Can you tell me the biggest problem that you deal with on a day to day basis?"

Here you will find out what they think about and what worries them. Entrepreneurs don't wake up at 2 AM thinking "life coaching" for example. They wake up thinking: "cash flow.... now... please!" They wake up thinking: "employees... good ones... now... please!" And so on.

So start by understanding the context of the conversation and let that guide the information you deliver.

2) CONCENTRATED/CONSCIOUS

Be WITH the one you're with.

Some people have a troubling habit of looking past the person they are with, always trying to find the next person. When you are with someone give them your full attention.

Be interestED in other people. It will make you more interestING.

You be the judge of the appropriate length for a conversation. Just recognize that the immediate context of a conversation tends to be more appropriate for making a quick acquaintance than for deep conversation. Eventually it comes time to move on.

If you are in a roomful of people the easiest way to do this is to help the other person meet someone new. All you have to do is say, "You want to meet a few more people don't you? Let me introduce you around."

You can then either pass them along to someone else or just lead them around as you talk to new people. Trust me, they will appreciate the new introductions.

Even if you don't know anyone in the room - look for someone in the room who seems even more lost than you do. Introduce yourself and invite them to meet some more people. Take them around the room and introduce them to people you don't know either (aren't name tags great?).

3) CARING

This cannot be faked. Either you do or you don't. When people know that you really care about them and what they do, they will be comfortable in sharing information with you.

4) CONNECTIONS

It's not just about who you know. It's about who knows you and how they know you.

So stay in touch. Send a thank you note. Follow up with a phone call.

Miss Manners has told us to do this since we were little ones, simply because it is the civil thing to do. From a practical business point of view it is important because people tend to do more business with people they REMEMBER and people they feel good about. Get in the habit of letting people know that you sincerely appreciate them and they will respond accordingly.

Also, don't lose site of the fact that opportunities sometimes take a while to develop.

A good friend was at a wedding one Friday night and overheard that the bride's passport was not current and their planned honeymoon in Paris, France was in jeopardy. He made a few calls on Saturday morning and found a way to get her a current passport before her flight left on Monday morning.

Later the same day my friend found that his assistant had been diagnosed with a large tumor and needed some top-notch diagnostic work. The groom's father happened to be the top specialist in the city. My friend made a call, saying "This isn't why I helped your daughter-in-law, but I do need a favor." He got her the care she needed.

The point is that the time to make friends is before you need them.

You want to get quality people into your rolodex. Those people also have rolodexes - filled with quality people. The people who you know may not be the ones will hire you but they know those people. You never know where you connections are going to happen. Just keep making them and looking for ways to spread the success and it will come back to you.

5) CURIOUS & CONFUSED

If you are curious and confused you will keep asking questions and look for greater understanding. Honest curiosity, coupled with caring, will bring you more information than you ever imagined. And people will appreciate the interest. The better you understand the person you are speaking to the easier it is to put things in their terms, i.e., in a way to which they will best understand and relate.

5 1/2) A Final "Bonus" Point

This one doesn't start with a C but it's vitally important. Be SPECIFIC about what you want and what you do. General requests beget general results. General descriptions beget lukewarm responses.

There is likely to be a huge difference in the response you get by saying "I am thirsty" versus "Can you get me a glass of water?" Likewise you are going to get a far better result by saying something like "I work with female entrepreneurs in the 30 to 55 year age bracket who are in the financial service industry in Denver" than "I'm a business consultant."

Coach's Notes: Five Essential Points When Making Your Introductions

There are five key points that you need to communicate in any introduction of yourself and your business to someone when networking:

1. Who you work with
2. The problems they have and the impact of those problems
3. What they have tried to do to fix the problem that does not work, meaning, they still have the problem
   
4. Your unique solution and why it works
5. What people experience when that problem is removed

You can cover all five points in under one minute.

A mistake that people frequently make is that their introduction is too broad and general. The thinking is that if you paint a broad enough picture people will be able to see the huge universe of people you could work with and the myriad benefits you provide.

It just doesn't work that way.

People respond to specificity, not generalities. Imagine sending someone to the pantry to "get something good" versus "get the glass jar on the 2nd shelf with the blue and yellow label that is full of red spaghetti sauce".

Which do you think is likely to get you what you want?

When you give people the whole universe to look at they zone out. They can't do anything with it. When you give them something very specific they will be able to help you.

Question on this post? Email me or just comment below.

Networking Your Networks

Gadzooks! Has it really been a full month since I posted here? I must have been busy.... hope I had fun!!

Today I am posting the notes for the North Dallas Workshop I did this week. We had a great group of people - some "regulars" and quite a few new faces.

Our work was around expanding our influence by networking our networks. Just like computer networks create even more power when networked together, when we can connect more people and more networks the power grows exponentially.

We covered three key principles.

PRINCIPLE NUMBER ONE

ALL THE BUSINESS AND MONEY YOU WILL EVER NEED IS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU ALREADY KNOW AND THE PEOPLE THEY KNOW.

Each person you know has networks that can be shared.

One of the mental shifts that allows us to make this happen is to move away from a linear connectivity model to a three dimensional one. Imagine for a moment that you are in a soap bubble. It is somewhat small, and it contains all your knowledge and experience and skills, etc. You are peering out of this bubble into other people's bubbles, and every now and then your bubble connects with someone else's. As the bubbles maintain contact something interesting happens - the barrier between the bubbles disappears, and there is now a larger bubble that contains your combined knowledge, experience, skills, etc. Imagine that this connecting process continues and more and more bubbles keep connecting. Each time the barrier breaks down you have, in a sense, integrated the other bubble's network into yours. Imagine this process goes on and on, and you learn how to do it intentionally, seeking out the relationships that you need and that need you.

PRINCIPLE NUMBER TWO

YOU MUST BE PROACTIVE IN FINDING THE RESOURCES YOU SEEK.

You cannot wait around for people to figure you out, understand what you do or what it is that you need.

You need to let people know:

1. WHO YOU ARE - this is what you stand for, your character, you as a person, your uniqueness.
   
2. WHAT YOU DELIVER - what your clients and customers get as a result of working with you.
   
3. WHAT YOU NEED - who you need to know, the resources you are seeking, the relationships you want to develop.

People sometimes buy into the idea that if they just work only on themselves, envision what they want, and wait for it to manifest then the power of attraction will mystically bring it to them. Now I'm a strong believer in visualization and getting our own house in order, but folks you have ACT if you want things to happen.

Identify the most influential people in each of your natural spheres of influence and get very intentional about enlisting their help. Brainstorm with someone else - your peers, your coach, your mentor or manager - to devise creative ways to approach them and enroll them in the process of knowing the quality people in their universe. Remember those bubbles - you need to establish the contact in order to become part of them.

PRINCIPLE NUMBER THREE

YOU MUST KEEP AT THE TOP OF PEOPLE'S MINDS.

This is important and requires a system that is both automatic and contains a PERSONAL TOUCH.

Joe Girard was named "Worlds Greatest Salesman" by Guiness Book of World Records 12 times. One of the ways that he did it was to send everyone who ever did business with him a card in the mail 12 times a year. EVERY MONTH. To everyone.

It can be so simple - we just have to be consistent.

Shameless Commercial: To learn about an inexpensive and amazingly effective "stay in touch" system click here.

As you work to stay at the top of people's minds you also want your follow-up to be APPROPRIATE.

EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO DO:

I responded to an email offer a couple of months ago. The original offer intrigued me so I invited someone to put me on his list. What happened since has become grimly fascinating. The only reason I continued to open his messages after his first barrage is I'm fascinated by the consistency with which he so often repeats the same message again and again, as he tries to convert me into his program.

A STAY-IN-TOUCH STRATEGY THAT WORKED

About a week ago I found a service online that looked like something I could use. I contacted the salesman and talked about it. A couple of days later I got a card from him. Two days later I got another, different card with a different message and some useful information. Two days after that I got another, different card, with a new and useful message. The next day I got a phone call. Within a week I was sold. (I called him and asked him to please sell it to me!)

The difference between these two campaigns is that the latter person showed me a PERSON behind the campaign and took the trouble to find out where I was in the process. The former, partly because sending the emails was "free" I suspect, just kept hammering me until I totally tuned him out. The latter person invested some time and money and carefully qualified me each step of the way.

He also used what I call the "Lost Wallet" approach. When someone calls you up to tell you that they have found your lost wallet, you welcome the call. Why? Because they are bringing you something of obvious value.

Be sure every contact provides something of value so it is welcomed.

Networking Workshop Notes

I do a workshop every 2nd Tuesday in North Dallas. Here are the notes from the short program I did today. Hope they are of value to you.

One of the challenges that people keep bringing up to me is that of getting the most out of the time and money that they invest in networking.

People complain that the hard dollar costs are killing them. Frankly, with gasoline prices hovering in the $3 range, I'm in sympathy with them. Add to that the wear and tear to vehicles, the cost of some association's memberships, and meals.

Then there is the issue of time. None of us has unlimited time at our disposal and it is not a renewable resource. It cannot be banked and once time is gone it cannot be replaced; so we have to invest it wisely.

So, how do you get the best ROI from your networking investment? It comes from targeting and managing your appearances. In order to do this effectively you need to answer three essential questions.

The first question is, "Who do I need to meet?"

You need have a very clear description for yourself of the following:

1. Your Target Prospect.
   This is the first category you must describe. These are the people who are most likely to have the problem that you solve plus the wherewithal and authority to use your solution.
   
   
2. Those Who Influence Your Prospects.
   These are the centers of influence who have significant sway over your market. (Think Oprah.)
   
   
3. Referral Sources.
   These are the people who know and can give you immediate access to your market.
   
   
4. Strategic Partners.
   These are the people who can partner with you to enhance the value you bring to your market.

The second question is, "Where am I most likely to find each of them?"

You need to know what locations and events are most likely to provide a "prospect rich" environment. Don't waste your time going places where you are unlikely to meet the networks you need.

Example:

Andrew was in the business of financing mergers and acquisitions. It was generally a waste of his time to go to groups that were populated mainly by sales people and very small entrepreneurs. Although those groups might provide some access to his market due to the Rule of 250, he really needed to focus his networking time with people who were involved with companies that did 10 to 50 million dollar deals.

The third question is, "How do they need to know me?"

It is not enough that you merely show up. It is essential that they get to know you in the best way. Steve Taylor, the president of the North Dallas Chamber, frequently points out that people get to know what you can do in your business by seeing what you can do outside of it. Serving on a committee, as ambassador, volunteering in an organization and showing people what you are capable of makes a favorable impression. That can easily turn into interest in the value you bring through your business.

Example:

1. A Merrill Lynch broker in Arizona (who incidentally was acknowledge as "not being the sharpest knife in the drawer") was the number one producer in his office for one reason: he spent the least time in the office of any of the brokers. But where he spent it was attending the council meetings of municipalities throughout the region. There he was able to meet and get to know the retirement plan administrators. Eventually he became the go-to guy for municipality plan investments - because he knew them, they knew him, and THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER!! Other brokers in his office tried to break into the business but were universal failures because they tried to do it the "easy" way, i.e., by making sales calls.
   
   
2. An Edward Jones rep I know made up his mind that he was going to "own" a certain part of North Texas. He proceeded to participate in every chamber and municipal function that he could. He eventually became the chairman of the local chamber and spearheaded the drive to build the new chamber building. Within a few short years he owned his own building and is on his way to partnership.
   

RECAP

The First Question is "Who do I need to meet?".

The Second Question is, "Where am I most likely to find each of them?"

The Third Question is, "How do they need to know me?"

Four Big Mistakes People Make In Follow-Up When Networking

Once a month I deliver a workshop at a local chamber of commerce to help people learn how to expand and develop their networks better. It is an expression of one of my missions, i.e., to connect social networks and thereby increase everyone's social capital. This workshop (which by the way has been ongoing for nearly 14 years now) and the online Social Capital Calendar have helped innumerable people from all walks to add to their own social capital.

Today I am publishing some notes from the most recent workshop on effective follow-up. The principles apply whether you are networking for business, career, or social causes.

BIG MISTAKE NUMBER ONE: They Work Only The Surface.

This means two things.

First thing is they don't find out enough about the other person to really know how they might help each other. The initial conversation tends to be superficial and they don't get enough useful information about the other person. Stay curious about people and seek to learn more about who they are and what matters to them. Honest curiosity will lead you to ask appropriate questions about people without coming across as an inquisitor.

The other thing this means is that they don't reconnect with people to get to know them better. Networking is like every other part of human relationships in that it takes an investment to build a relationship. Just because you met someone once does not mean they are going to remember you. Just because they remember you does not mean they will think about you. And just because they think about you does not mean they like, understand or trust you. Trust is what makes things happen, and this takes an investment of time.


BIG MISTAKE NUMBER TWO: They Don't Have A Plan.

What typically happens is people pick up business cards, and the cards go into a "someday maybe" spot in a desk or drawer. There they stay until they either get pitched later because they are about as fresh as very old cheese or they become part of the person's estate. When someone finally clears out their desk they wonder what the heck the person was thinking and wonder "Are these cards collectible or something?"

Don't' let this happen to you. Have a strategy thought out in advance. At the minimum have a next step, be it making a phone call, sending a note, or inviting people to an event, to join your mailing list. Having a variety of strategies that are pre-planned lets you just get them done or even to delegate them. There is nothing wrong with having a library of pre-written follow-up notes that can either be merged on a computer or simply be hand written onto note cards.


This brings us to BIG MISTAKE NUMBER THREE: They Don't Differentiate.

There's a tendency I see in some people that I call Promiscuous Networking. They don't have any criteria to differentiate who they need to spend their time with and which relationships to develop.

You need to identify the people in the room who you need to know better and who need to know you better. You frankly do not have enough time in the day to get to know everyone on a deep basis. You have to make some choices.

Design keep-in-touch strategies that differentiate between these people and that allow you to touch the right people in the right way. A newsletter like this and my weblog allow a large number to opt-in for contact with me without my having to speak one on one with every one.

Some people need more personal follow up, and some need outright wooing. Hot prospects and Power Team candidates obviously need more personal follow up than someone who is just a nice person.

Very Important Point: DON'T BE OVER-ZEALOUS ABOUT ONE-ON-ONES.

I regularly hear people complain about all the time they spend one on one with people they meet when networking. You have got to invest your quality time with the right people. Frankly, not everyone you meet is someone with whom you want to spend quality time. This does not diminish the quality of another person, it simply acknowledges the reality that you have limited time and have to use it where you can get the greatest return.


BIG MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR: They Rely On Follow Up When Right Now Is Available

Too often people wait until some later time to get things rolling when it is perfectly OK to ask someone to set up the follow up meeting right now. Instead of making a note to call someone later just say, "Get out your calendar and let's plan a follow up meeting!"

Carpe Diem!

JUMPing Off Points

Here are three action steps you can take right now to improve your networking follow-up:

1. Write down a standard plan of action that you will use from now on whenever you meet someone. Have a minimum of three, preferably six or more, specific actions you will take in order to cement the contact and establish yourself in their mind. Automate and delegate whatever you can. Keep it simple, or you will not do it!!
2. Identify who you need to develop in your network and have a simple, personal contact strategy to develop those relationships.
3. Stay curious and involved. Real connections are with real people, and honest caring about relationships always trumps schmarmy schmoozing.

[This article was published in the Coach's Notes eZine]